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I was 27 when I had my abortion. I was in a very controlling and abusive relationship with a man who was 20 years my senior. It was a very bad situation.  When I took the pregnancy test and realized that yes, I was pregnant, I told him about it. He was angry and verbally abusive and when he started to calm down he said,”just what I need, another kid”. Up to that point I didn’t know he even HAD any other children. (we had been dating for over a year at this point) He never saw the kids he had, in fact, he was living off of me and my money. I was paying his rent, paying for his food, etc. He was working part time and getting paid “under the table” – it was at that point I realized that he was doing that in order to avoid paying child support for the kids he already had.  Not the kind of situation I had thought I’d ever be in.

I thought everything over, discussed it with my mom, and decided that I could not bring a life into a situation like that. Could I have taken care of the baby?  Probably…but, I also didn’t want to have a child with someone who never cared to know or cared about his own child…much less someone who was manipulative and controlling.

I told him what I had decided and he said he’d go with me.

I went to the clinic (after the 3 day waiting period), and on my way in and out was shouted at by protesters. I made my decision and I wasn’t turning back no matter what they said.

I recall being in the room, the nurse offered to hold my hand, but I refused. There was a poster of puppies on the ceiling. Then I lay in recovery for a bit and was on my way.

We left and I started to drive away, at which point, he said, “could you drop me at (his friend’s house) so I can borrow his motorcycle?” I told him NO WAY. I just went through one of the most difficult days of my life and you want me to run you around?

I missed the next several days of work as I was an emotional wreck after.

He and I went our separate ways shortly after I had had the abortion. He stalked me for a long while after I told him I couldn’t see him anymore. Needless to say, I’m glad he is out of my life.

It took a long time for me to emotionally heal from that relationship and from the abortion. I had always hoped that someday I would have the opportunity to have children with someone who was really in love with me and not abusive.

Here it is now, 11 years later and I AM in a loving relationship with a wonderful man.  Last year, however, I had to have a hysterectomy due to fibroids.  I never had and now will no longer will ever be able to bear children. However, the choice to have an abortion that I made in 2001, I still stand strong with.

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