A Project of Advocates for Youth

Like the 1 in 3 Campaign Facebook page

Find 1 in 3 updates in the @advocatestweets twitter stream

sign up for email updates

updates

The 1 in 3 book!
1 in 3: These Are Our Stories

more updates on >>
the 1 in 3 Tumblr >>

search

Written Stories

English

I always thought I would have trouble getting pregnant. Both my mother and my grandmother had to see specialists and start fertility treatments in order to get pregnant. When I was 15, I started the pill to treat ovarian cysts and acne. I've been on the pill ever since so I've never worried about getting pregnant. My boyfriend and I didn't use condoms because we figured that with my family history and being on the pill, there was no chance I could get pregnant. … read more >

Anonymous

I am 53, and the proud mother of 3 children, who were planned and born when I was ready to become a parent. At 17 in my senior year of high school, and after I found out I was accepted to a college, I became pregnant. … read more >

Anonymous

After eight months of long-distance relationship I saw my partner, whom I had been on and off for the previous three years. … read more >

Anonymous

I'm 52, childless and single. I terminated my only 2 pregnancies and only now know for sure that I did the right thing. I love children and I very much wanted my own children. It has taken me many years to know I made the right choice not to bring my pregnancies to term. At the time, they were very difficult, painful decisions to make. Then, I wondered for a very long time after if they were wrong decisions. I now believe that was mostly because of the societal stigma associated with terminating pregnancy. With the wisdom of age, I now know that my choices were correct in a way I did not know with certainty when I was younger. I want to share some thoughts from the other side of menapause with young women still in the grip of the biological drive to reproduce. Our mothers and grandmothers had no choice. For countless generations, women have been bound to their reproductive destiny and are still enslaved by it in many parts of this world, unfortunately. I'n very aware and grateful that I'm in the first generation of my family freed from a prescribed biological destiny. As a result, I have been enabled to explore my talents to contribute as an artist. Both my mother and her mother had wanted to be artists before society made them mothers. I can still remember the day I realized that as a female I had the power to reproduce. As a child, I was sure that was something I wanted to experience. But, I can also remember the day I promised myself I would never give my child a father like the one I had. As the Adult Child of an Alcoholic, I almost forgot that promise. At 23, I intentionally got pregnant out of wedlock, by an alcoholic, because I wanted a baby. My mom, who married my father because she was pregnant at 19, brought me back to reality and to the clinic. As a result, she has no grandchildren. But, my mother and I are both environmentslists. Frankly, more people is the last thing we need right now here on planet Earth. That's just a fact, but we are biologically driven to reproduce despite that reality. The love of my life was also an alcoholic. I tried to get him sober for 10 years without success. But, now I reslize I was still being driven by my desire for children. When clearly our genes were not the best to pass on. Let's talk about this dealing of genetic cards. Of my siblings, I am clearly the most like my father, not least of all in addictive tendencies. So, any child of mine, particularly with the addicts to whom I was always attracted, would have been dealt addictive genes. Also, if I had not been focused on sobering up my beloved soul mate to make him a fit father, perhaps I could have better handled his disease. But, I failed, lost him and now he is dead. I got pregnant once more unintentionally by another alcoholic and terminated that pregnancy as well. At some point, I faced the fact that if what I really wanted was to have a child in my life, I could adopt a child who needed me. If that does not appeal to you, I suspect it is because wanting a child in your life is not really what is driving you. But, I would argue that is the only reason to become a parent. There is no shortage of orphans and children in need. So, if you aren't just following biological urges, you can consciously choose parenthood and pass some other tests to be allowed to do it. If you come up with reasons not to do that, look very carefully at yourself and what is really driving you. Creating a new child is biologically driven, self satisfying and that's why so many people don't make great parents. Reproduction is ultimately a selfish act which then demands more selflessness than people have ever experienced before, in parenthood. Now, I have friends who are exceptions to this, who are great parents raising great kids who I love. But, let's be real. In a world suffering from human over population, forcing women to have kids they can not afford or do not want is just crazy. Based on what? The rights of the zygote? Fertilized eggs are not independent beings with rights. They are part of a woman's body which may or may not result in a healthy, viable person many weeks, actually months, in the future. A chicken egg is not called a chicken. A fertilized human egg is not a human. If I was a chicken, you would call it breakfast. A fertilized egg is not a child, it is a potential child. Every woman's body discards the egg of a potential child every month for 25 years or more during menstation. Just because some man's sperm fertilized one of those eggs does not make it sacred. Remember Monty Python's "Every Sperm is Sacred?" Comedy, not public policy. As women emerge from thousands of years of second class citizenship, we will transform this world. First and foremost, by not reproducing the genes of the rapist, the wife-beater and the deadbeat dad. When women have full control over their own bodies and lives, we can choose to reproduce the genes of only the best of men and our species will evolve rapidly. Think about it. That is why reproductive rights are fought against by men who want to continue to have power over women. Right now men can be biologically successful by reproducing without being true men and good fathers. "Bastards" are people who had fathers who did not take responsibility for impregnating their mothers, bad dads in other words. "Sons of Bitches" are men who had mothers who should not have been mothers, because they behaved like female dogs. Parenthood is the hardest and most important job on the planet. Ideally, parenthood should only be entered into by aware adults ready to do the incredibly demanding selfless work of raising a child and only when they have the support they need, emotionally as well as financially, to do it right. Otherwise, the soul seeking entrance into the material world can be sent on to better parents, in my worldview. That is what I prayed to happen with the souls who approached me and what I believe did happen. I once met a young man who had been given the uncommon name I had chosen during my first pregnancy. He was the right age, concieved just after my first abortion. He also looked as I once saw him in a dream I had of him as an adult while I was pregnant. But, in my dream he was a very unhappy adult and I do not doubt it was because I was not happy as his mother. I was not really ready to be his mother. I choose to believe that his soul found another mother in a much better situation and a father who was truly there for him, which I could not have given him. Then, there is the freeing of human potential from the limitations imposed by parenthood. Again, raising children is so demanding. When that demand is lifted, women can contribute in so many other ways to the life of the planet. Earth does not need you to reproduce. People are far from an endangered species. Earth needs your love and your talents directed toward getting us to a better and brighter future for all of us. Finally, I now choose to believe my departed soul mate and I were brought together to create art not biological children. He recorded the music and I continue to write the words. So, even passionate, physical love can be souls coming together to create something other than just another human child.

Marcella

I was raised in the Mormon church, and had been told to always be a good girl, and learned how to be codependent at a very early age. Although I left Mormonism at the age of 17, my self esteem had suffered my entire life. This became crystal clear to me, when at the age of 35 I started dating a man who was verbally and emotionally abusive. … read more >

Anonymous

I was 22. I already had a 2 year old son whose biological father had abandoned us when he was 2 weeks old. I had just ended a one-year abusive relationship. A few weeks after it ended, I found out I was pregnant. I was on birth control but my anti-depressants lowered the effectiveness of them, something my doctor had failed to mention to me and I only learned about 6 years later. … read more >

Anonymous

I find comforting the statistic that 61% of abortions obtained are women who have 1 or more children. It makes me feel less alone. My story is that I have always been Pro-Choice, but figured that I personally would never use that choice to terminate a pregnancy. Somehow never thought I'd be in that position. … read more >

Emily

I had my abortion in 1971, pre Roe v. Wade, in NYC. I had never been outside my Southern state by myself before and I was terrified. I was a very immature 20 y.o. from a very proper family that did not abide "bad girls" and was so lacking in sex education that I was 4 months along before I even guessed I was pregnant. … read more >

Debe

Back in the late 50's I was pregnant and got the German measles. My Dr. recommended an abortion. Back then it went to a panel of 5 Drs and they all recommended an abortion. I then had the abortion which turned out to be the right thing. The legs looked like a piece of liver. My point is mostly because this happened around 1959 and now today I might not have been allowed to have an abortion no matter what. At the time abortion wasn't allowed after 3 mo.

Anonymous

I wanted to become a mom since I was a teenager, but I knew that I needed to wait until I was financially stable and in a healthy relationship. I started volunteering at Planned Parenthood when I was 16, because they provided me with the education and resources I needed - including birth control and annual exams. I became a campus coordinator for NARAL Pro-Choice Oregon when I was in my early 20's, and actively worked for reproductive rights for all women. Although I have been pro-choice for as long as I can remember, I never thought I would get an abortion myself. Several years ago, I learned that my mom and sister both had abortions, and was grateful I never had to make that decision. … read more >

Anonymous

I was 15 when an uncle by marriage took interest in me. He taught me to drive, bought me what ever I wanted, even the alcohol I asked for. Then he introduced me to marijuana. My mother was recently divorced and too busy enjoying her new found freedom to be concerned about my uncle's attention to me; it gave her more free time when I was with him. … read more >

Anonymous

I was 15, my boyfriend and I had been dating since I was 14 (which is when I lost my virginity). My parents were going through a divorce and I felt I had no one so I felt like HE understood me. I believed him when he said I couldn't get pregnant if he pulled out before ejaculation. He was wrong. … read more >

Anonymous

I have had 2 abortions, one when I was in my mid twenties, unmarried and living with my boyfriend. We were career minded and wanted to be married before we had our first child. I had no guilt, no remorse. I always felt like it was the right thing to do. My 2nd one, was after I got divorced in my 30's, a guy I was dating and we were stupid and had unprotected sex, just ONCE! Guess that's all it took! So I had an abortion then as well. Again, no regrets and no remorse. It was the right thing to do at the time. And thankfully, my insurance paid for it both times!

Anonymous

I saved the ultrasound picture in a dated envelope, stuck it in a drawer and just as I closed the drawer - I closed out that moment in my life. They asked if I planned to continue with the pregnancy, at the tender, scared and reckless age of 18, in a low whisper, I said, “No.” … read more >

Anonymous

Before I had my abortion I scoured the internet for stories about the procedure: how long, how painful, etc. Aside from a video of a young woman who calmly undergoes an abortion, making it seem like no big deal, the pain and procedure information was hard to find. Certainly part of this is the subjective nature of the experience and the differences in pain thresholds as well as the emotional pain we may or may not feel. I just want to share my experience for the anxious woman, like myself, who wants to know what may happen. … read more >

Anonymous

I am 21 years old, I just got my two year degree. I take care of an elder family member and took a year off to do so. I am engaged and I found out I was pregnant about a month or so in to the pregnancy. … read more >

Anonymous

My boyfriend and I have been together for a good amount of time now. A few weeks ago I found out I was pregnant. Neither of us are in a position to actually have a child but I also know we would be able to take care of it if that would be our choice. Unfortunately, July 4th, 2013, my boyfriend went through one of the most horrible things a person could. His 7 year old son was struck by a stray bullet and was pronounced dead the following morning. … read more >

Elizabeth

I found out when I was 21... I had stopped taking birth control because for so many days in a row I would forget to take my pill and didn't bother starting taking it again. I was busy with working, starting school soon and stressed about a lot of things. For two months I couldn't believe that the reason I wasn't getting my period was because I was pregnant. I didn't want to believe it or listen to my body. I kept telling myself 'no way this can't be me, it can't be happening to me'. … read more >

Anonymous

I am 39 years old, a wife of 19 years, and a mother of 3 healthy beautiful children whom I love dearly. I am one of those oh so lucky people who cannot take birth control because it causes me to have blood clots in my legs so my husband and I use several different methods for birth control; condoms, abstinence during fertile times, counting days in my cycle, etc. Two months ago our methods failed, as they did about 7 years ago. … read more >

Kay

I got mine in a sterile, hospital environment and the physician performing was funny and kind. He knew that I didn’t much want a man doing the operation because I didn’t want a strange male seeing my female parts, but I got over it because hey, he’s a doctor. … read more >

Anonymous

Sometimes I question my decision, I have thoughts about the twins I never gave birth to. I was 18 when I found out I was pregnant it was the weekend I was at new student orientation getting ready to start my first year of college. … read more >

Imani

My story is not the norm. It happened in December, 2013. I was thirty, engaged to be married, had a well-paying job and a lovely house with plenty of privacy in a nice neighborhood. For all intents and purposes, this time in my life should be when I have children. But that life is not what I want. … read more >

Lisa

I lost track of the abortions I had — at least five — but thank the Goddess I could get safe, legal and affordable abortions when I needed them. I realize in retrospect that while I thought of myself as a strong woman in my 20s and early 30s, I was really a puppet to men who didn't value me as a person but just someone to get them laid. Now I am 60 years old and I never had children and realized that I never wanted them. But I wanted to be loved and seeking that love got me pregnant. … read more >

Anonymous

There was a drugstore on The Drag that my roommate and I used for everything, but no way I was getting a pregnancy test there. What if I saw a sorority sister or classmate? In fact, all of west Campus was out. Hyde park was close, but even though we weren't grad students, we know some, and ditto on the freakout what-if-someone-see- us bit. We drive to far North Austin to get the test, and just to be sure, we buy 2. … read more >

Alicia

I was a 19-year-old sophomore dating another 19-year-old sophomore. I had a birth-control pill prescription but screwed up using it and got pregnant. It was 1983, and we were in school in Atlanta, GA. Telling him I had failed at using my birth-control method and was pregnant was the hardest thing I've ever had to tell anyone. … read more >

Anonymous

I was 17 and blinded by love. I had always thought I would remain a virgin until marriage but I fell in love my senior year of high school and all my plans and principles flew out the window. I had a scare just before graduation and told my mother, but she did nothing to get me on birth control. Three months later I was just about to leave for college across the country and my period was late. … read more >

Anonymous

When I was 21 I had my first abortion. I was madly in love with the guy, but he wasn't reliable and already had two kids he didn't support. I was unemployed and partying my nights away in my first apartment. His mother and he talked me into an abortion and it only made the decision easier. It was Martin Luther King Jr. Day 1992. We were $50.00 short when we arrived at the clinic. … read more >

VN

I am 64. I got pregnant the first time I had sex at 18 when I was a freshman in college in 1968. I thought I would have the baby, but my parents talked me into having an abortion. My mother, who had an illegal back alley abortion, paid for me to have a hospital abortion, which was also illegal...but nothing like what she went through. There were only 2 reasons to go to a hospital in those days..a miscarriage or because you were crazy. … read more >

Robin

Whenever someone would bring up abortion, my canned response would always be, "I support a woman's right to choose, but I could never personally make that choice." Of course, I never dreamed I'd be in a position where I was faced with that choice, so it was an easy thing to say. I'd only ever had a few sexual partners and I was psychotic about taking my birth control every day and on time. Unplanned pregnancy would never happen to me. … read more >

Rachel

I was 18 when I had my abortion. I had been dating the guy for nearly two years and for most of that time, I had been on the pill, but out of nowhere, my insurance stopped covering it and I had to see my OBGYN to get a different prescription. … read more >

Anonymous

It wasn't hard for me to make my decision. If anything, I was more worried about what my husband would think. We're recently married, still very much in the newlywed stage. We had been through pregnancy before. … read more >

Anonymous

I had two teen pregnancies with two different boys before abortion was legal. I had those babies - they remain the light of my life. Both 'fathers' fled. At 22 I moved in with a man who seemed the right choice. I made it very clear that I would not have another child. "That's great. I have no interest in having kids of my own," he said. Eight years later I became pregnant when my IUD failed. … read more >

Janis

I had two abortions in my early twenties. One pregnancy resulted from a long-term relationship and birth control fail; one resulted from a fling and a lack of birth control. In both cases, the decision was right for me. I was a single mother, barely making ends meet, and I needed all of my energy and all of my income just to support the son I already had. … read more >

Michelle

I was 20 and part of a fundamentalist Christian group that worked with underprivileged children in New York City. If I had told any of the leaders, I would have been sent back to my church and family in shame. That had happened to another young woman I knew – she was thrown out of the program, and sent back home – while the young man got a stern lecture but no consequences. … read more >

NJM

I am 61 years old and had an abortion when I was a young woman. It was a legal abortion, performed in a clinic, and there were no complications. It was the right decision to have an abortion at the time because I was too young, too immature and my life was too unstable to bring a child into it. In my 30s I had 2 beautiful children who are the joy of my life. I believe I was correct in having an abortion when I did but I also believe that I should have had better access to birth control so that I would not have become pregnant in the first place.

Anonymous

I was with the man I thought I would marry and we talked about having a child. I got pregnant, he shied away. I considered the possibility of being a single mother, but knew I wasn't in a position to do that financially or otherwise. There were protesters outside when I went to have my abortion. I went through with it. Since then, I have finished my bachelor's degree. I've also been accepted to a PhD program. Neither of these things would have been viable for me if I had made a different decision. I am exactly where I want to be.

Anonymous

I was 23 when I had my abortion. My Fiance and I had been together for 6 years and had a beautiful 3 year old son. We had moved in together for the second time, after I spent 2 years at home with my parents because of financial reasons. We were living in our new place for about a year when I found out I was pregnant. … read more >

Anonymous

I had an abortion about 2 weeks after I turned 20. I'd been on the pill since I was 16, but had forgotten to take it home around Spring Break and skipped 2 days. My boyfriend at the time didn't wear a condom for a few sexual encounters, and even though we used the pull-out method, I became pregnant. … read more >

Katie

A little backstory first. Since the time that I became sexually active (14 1/2) my mother was very quick to take me to planned parenthood and get me on birth control. Unfortunately I had started smoking before that age as well. My father has a condition known as deep vein thrombosis, which makes him extremely prone to blood clotting. Not knowing or being able to afford hereditary conditions, the doctors and my mother decided to keep me off of traditional hormone combination birth control (I.e. The pill). As many know this drastically decreases your options of safe birth control. … read more >

Anonymous

My dad molested me until I was 13. He didn't impregnate me but I believe growing up that way made it hard for me to say no. At 16 on a rare occasion when my boyfriend's mom was out we were looking forward to sex. I said no when he told me he forgot condoms, but he made me feel like shit so I said yes. I was later told I had no one to blame but myself. … read more >

Laura

When I was 18, my boyfriend of 2 years and I had just broken up. We were in that in-between phase between breaking up and moving out. It was in this time that I found out I was pregnant. I knew I was too young and in no position to be a good mom, and I absolutely did not want anything to tie me to this guy for the rest of my life. To me it was never a baby. It wasn't a person. It was a medical problem I needed to take care of. I do not feel shame. Or guilt. I know I made the right choice for me.

Cherisse

I am now in my seventies. When I had my abortion it was not yet legal, nor were there birth control pills. I was 19 and in love with my college boyfriend. … read more >

Joy

I got pregnant as a teen, by my boyfriend. He was irresponsible, and I had mental health problems. My parents were older, old enough to be my grandparents. They were not able or willing to help me raise a child. So they took me to have the surgical procedure, which was performed by an ob/gyn. He's the one who had verified that I was pregnant. The next year, still a teen having mental problems, I got pregnant again, by another irresponsible boyfriend. … read more >

Anonymous

When I got pregnant at 23 I had an abortion. My boyfriend at the time drove me three hours for the procedure b/c there were no services in my hometown. The procedure was relatively fast and I don't remember feeling anything. … read more >

Jenny

I was 23 years old. I had been with my boyfriend for 6 months. I had an IUD because I never wanted to have to make such a hard decision. Unfortunately, the unthinkable happened and my IUD failed. I found out on the second day of my last year of Graduate School. … read more >

Anonymous

When I found out in college I was pregnant I was instantly filled with panic and fear. I instantly knew I would have an abortion, I just dreaded having to actually figure out where and how, and wondered what it would be like to go through it alone. After it was all arranged and I arrived on the day I was really surprised to see who filled up the waiting room. … read more >

Cristina

I was 22 years old and a senior in college when my boyfriend left me for another girl. I became very depressed and didn't find out I was pregnant until two months later. I was angry at myself for being so irresponsible, at my ex-boyfriend for the way he treated me, and at my family because I knew if I'd told them about the pregnancy, they'd have made me carry it to term. … read more >

Anonymous

I had my abortion over a year ago now on April 12th 2013, I was 21 years old and 8 weeks pregnant. I had been dealing with morning sickness for weeks just thinking I was sick or had an allergy to something I was eating, being pregnant wasn't even a possibility in my mind since I was on the pill. I had never gotten a "regular" period so I wasn't concerned when I couldn't remember when my last one was but after the few weeks of sickness in the morning my boyfriend of 6 years and I decided to take a pregnancy test just to be sure. … read more >

Lindsey

I had two abortions. Both happened during long term relationships. First pregnancy happened at 18, just because we were too young and silly. I’m incredibly happy that I did that and could study and work without any other “problems”. I wasn’t ready, nor was my bf. Later I found out that he is a terrible man who lied to me a lot and who was stealing my money. … read more >

Anonymous

When I was 17 I was in a deep depression. I felt that I did not have control of anything in my life. My parents were fearful about what "might happen" and therefore did not allow me any freedoms to be my own person or make my own decisions. I began sneaking around, sneaking out of the house, lying about who I was dating ect. … read more >

Tiffany

It was 1987, and I was 19 years old. I was on the pill, but clearly it failed. I was a freshman in college, and I doubt I took the pill exactly how one should, at the same time every day. I was in a dysfunctional relationship with a young man with whom I actually had nothing in common. We broke up for good about five months later. It was a mutual decision to end the pregnancy. After breaking up with him, I never saw him again. I am so grateful I had the abortion. I am 46 years old now and have never for one moment regretted the decision.

Anonymous

Hello. I've had two abortions in my lifetime. The first at 14 after I had been raped by a neighbor. That cost me membership to my church and being ostracized because members of my family felt the need to judge me and bring others into it. … read more >

Grace

I have had two abortions, 18 years apart. In between that time, I also had a child with my ex-husband, who is now ten years old (and a wonderful kid!). … read more >

Anonymous

I am 24 years old and have had 2 abortions. The first was while I was in a serious, or so I thought, relationship. From the moment I found out I was pregnant, I was scared and upset. The man I was with at the time agreed. The 2 weeks I waited, I pushed to possibly keep the pregnancy. No go. … read more >

Anonymous

My husband of 7 years and I had been trying to get pregnant for many years. When I finally saw that + on the test I was so happy I cried. It was not soon after that we started to get abnormal test results back. Finally, we had an amniocentesis done at 16 weeks...we found out that our son was "non-viable" only after our doctor dragged his feet for another 3 weeks before giving us our results. … read more >

Genny

I've always been pro life. I value my Christian beliefs. I believe that God creates and knows each of us in the womb. In a long term relationship, and a perfectionist about taking my birth control pills, I was shocked to find out that I was pregnant. I still feel shocked and frustrated. … read more >

Anonymous

Growing up so fast wasn’t my plan in life. Being 15 and “falling in love” wasn’t in the plan. Being 16 and pregnant was definitely NOT in the plan. The plan was to pass my ACTs with flying colors, get into a wonderful university and possibly a sorority, student government, maybe start a club. But it was just my junior year of high school; the day before New Year’s Eve when I found out I was pregnant. … read more >

Kelsey

I had my abortion when I was 23. I was against it completely until I found myself not being able to consider any other solution. I was a women's studies minor just before that and found myself almost shaking with anger at abortion activists, thinking how could they support such a horrible act?! Today I thank my higher power I was able to remember their words when I needed it most. I had my reasons like we all do. … read more >

Jennifer

I had an abortion when I was a 23 year old college senior. The pregnancy was the result of a one night stand. I voluntarily looked at my ultrasound before the procedure. … read more >

Danielle

I have had two abortions: the first when I was in my early twenties and newly married, the second when I was about 5 years older. … read more >

Anne

1 2 3 4 8