A Project of Advocates for Youth

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1 in 3: These Are Our Stories

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Written Stories


Today is 8/1/2015 and it is a day after my abortion. I am a 25 yr old mother of 2. I have a 3yr old and 11month old. I never thought I would have an abortion. I don't judge, but personally I never had a reason that was so bad that I would ever do it. My kids' dad is incarcerated and I still want my family. … read more >


It was seven years ago, I was 25. I still have the questionnaire from the doctors visit. One question asked "Do you want to be pregnant? Yes/No." I put an X through both. … read more >


I've been pro choice since I was old enough to understand the politics of abortion. I found out I was pregnant at 18 and made the decision to parent. I felt capable, and I was ok with the idea of being a mom. Fast forward 7 years later. I am unemployed after leaving a high stress job months earlier and have failed to find employment even after returning to school. I am in a new relationship with a wonderful man. And I find out I am pregnant. … read more >


I am in the unenviable position of having had both an abortion, & a child I placed for adoption. I can unequivocally say that I wish everyday that I had also terminated that second unplanned pregnancy but because of my alcoholism, I was in jail in a state that did not allow inmates to have abortions. … read more >


I never expected I would have an abortion. I supported it being a legal procure, but out of a sense of ethics and feminism, not because I expected to need one. I was 30 years old and had two children -- a 3 year old and a 4 month old -- when my husband failed to pull out and put on a condom. I had not gotten an IUD after the birth of our second child because he said he would get a vasectomy, but he delayed. A few weeks later I got a positive pregnancy test. … read more >


I didn't realize I was pregnant until I was at least 9 weeks. I've been off and on birth control pills since I was 15 and am now 21, I'd never gotten pregnant before and actually started to wonder whether I was even fertile because I wasn't always the best at taking my pills on time... … read more >


I was 18. Despite the "usual" rhetoric (which I think sometimes is more rhetoric than fact) it wasn't a hard decision, it wasn't a life changing decision. I did not fret it, or regret it. It was right for me. it was a blessing. … read more >


I am 1 in 3. The school system in which I was enrolled offered absolutely no sex-education. I was raised by my grandparents after my mom died. The closest thing we had to a sex talk we had was when I started my period. I was told was that tampons would kill me and that I should bury my used sanitary pads at the bottom of the trash can, so the dog wouldn't get them. While now this sounds comical, I assure you that when I ended up pregnant, it was no laughing matter. … read more >


I was 12 when I first became pregnant. I had just lost my virginity and had moved with my father. I was used to guys making advances at me, as I had just recently began to grow a body. I started having sex with multiple guys in the neighborhood and soon after moved back with my mom. She knew I was pregnant immediately and insisted I get an abortion. … read more >


I'm 22 years old and about to start my fifth and last year of college. I broke up with my boyfriend a little more than 2 weeks before I found out I was pregnant. … read more >


The first time I got pregnant I felt like my life was over. I felt like my heart went down to my knees. But, I knew I was not ready to have a child. … read more >


I have been pregnant 7 times--had 2 abortions, then a child, then another abortion, then another child, then a 5-month-along miscarriage, then my last child, and I got my tubes tied at age 34. My first abortion was in 1973--abortion had just been made legal. … read more >


I got pregnant at 17 and knew for sure I wasn't keeping the baby. It was the summer and I just got done with my junior year of high school. I had a lot I still wanted to do with my life and school wise I wasn't even done with high school. … read more >


My husband and I have a son together who is still an infant and we are still young and figuring our lives out. We found out I was pregnant unexpectedly and chose a medical abortion because we knew we only wanted one child for now and did not want to put ourselves or our son into debt. … read more >


At 17 years old I encountered an unexpected pregnancy. Struggling with severe depression I had made the decision to terminate my pregnancy. … read more >


I will never forget discovering your website. I stumbled upon it not long after my son taught me how to use Twitter. I was overwhelmed with gratitude to find all of these brave voices being lifted up. I am 55 years old and lived in silence for decades after ending two pregnancies in my teens. … read more >


At 17, I graduated high school early with honors as a student heavily involved with my community. A few months later, I jumped a bigger and more dangerous hurdle: I got out of a 4-year relationship defined by abuse that culminated in repeated intimate partner rape. … read more >


I was 16 years old and it was 1975 (5 years after Roe V Wade) and I was dating a 19 year old who had been sexually active. We started dating in 1974 and I had been able to avoid having sex. When he would ask I would just say no and that was the end of the story. I never had sex before and did not really want to have sex. One day my boyfriend asked to have sex, and again I said "No". This day was different he did not just stop at no. … read more >


My husband and I had been married for just six months when I found out I was pregnant. He was in grad school and working part time; I was working full time. We were pulling in enough money to keep ourselves afloat, but not enough to add another member to the family. Besides that, we’d both always felt pretty ambivalent about kids and parenting. I wasn’t ambivalent at all about what came next: I knew immediately that I wanted to have an abortion, and my husband supported me all the way. At that time there was an abortion clinic about a mile and a half from our apartment. BS zoning ordinances closed it about a year later (not enough parking). I found out on a Friday and was able to schedule the abortion for the following Tuesday. My health insurance covered everything except a co-pay of I think $30. I felt and still feel so fortunate that I was able to terminate so quickly and so easily. At the clinic there was one protester. He was nothing to me. But at the same time, I was beating myself up so badly. I just couldn’t believe that I had let it happen. I was using contraceptives! I was a responsible person! I was so ashamed, and ashamed of my shame – I’d always considered myself strongly pro-choice. Why did I feel like my reasons for aborting weren’t good enough? I have since realized that abortion is sometimes stigmatized even by politicians and activists who support protecting it. It’s often treated as the lesser of two evils, something unfortunate but sometimes necessary, and not as a reasonable and acceptable form of family planning. My reasons – primarily financial – were just as valid as any, even though I was married, employed, and pushing thirty. The staff at the clinic was great. I opted for a D&C with full sedation. My choice was treated with respect. My state requires “transvaginal ultrasounds” prior to abortion, and that was fairly upsetting, as it’s intended to be, I’m sure. By the time I was being put under I had worked myself into a panic. But then I woke up. Calm, relieved. It’s been three years now, and I have completely come to terms with my choice. It was the right thing for me and my husband, and for our marriage. I don’t think we’ll ever have children, and that feels right for us, too. How fortunate we are to be able to make our own decisions about our family. It's so important that that right be protected.


I am currently 18 years old and a college student with a part time job. I live on campus and have been with my boyfriend for almost a full year and all of my first year of college. He is the most genuine and loving guy I've ever met and two years older than me. Him and I began having sex a month into the relationship and after 8 months of on and off birth control use and no condoms, I felt really sick. … read more >


I had an abortion about one month ago. Do I regret it? I don't know yet. … read more >


In 1968 abortion was not legal. I was 19, wildly in love by naive and unready to have a child. An abortion was arranged with an MD. … read more >


I started dealing with this guy when I was around 19 years old. We didn't have sex immediately, we waited a few months but once we started we barely ever used protection. … read more >


It was Wednesday, May 6th, 2015 when I found out that I was pregnant. I had been taking birth control religiously for about two years, but it was difficult to get my prescriptions regularly since I moved to a different city for college. The cheapest way to keep my prescription was to drive back and forth every three months to my hometown after calling in for a refill. But one month I waited too late and ran out of pills during the week of my period. … read more >


So I'm 30 years old, recently engaged to be married and so happy to be in love with a sweet guy. I'm pretty regular, so when my period didn't come in over a week I started to get nervous. … read more >


I have had three abortions. I was not able to use the pill because of severe side effects, and my Dr. refused an IUD because my bleeding was already so heavy. My first husband refused to use other forms of birth control and insisted on sex. He was abusive, and a substance abuser. … read more >


When I was fifteen, I had my first real "boyfriend," or so I thought. This man (he was 20) was homeless, so he stayed at my house. A few weeks into the relationship, he began to belittle everything about me, from the size of my breasts to the way I acted during sex. … read more >


I had lost my (consensual; I had been raped) virginity to my best friend, and he to me. After that, we thought we were safe - unfortunately, we weren't. … read more >


It was Wednesday 6th of May 2015 that I found out I was pregnant- shock, nervousness and fear consumed me. … read more >


I was living with my boyfriend, the drug dealer. He hated me using a diaphragm as I would have to stop the action to go and put it in; he didn't like to wait. One time we had unprotected sex at a fertile time and I didn't get pregnant. I started thinking that he smoked so much pot that he was probably sterile, so I quit using birth control. 3 months later I was pregnant. We both agreed to have an abortion, and did the minute I turned 6 weeks gestation. He did go with me and took care of me during the procedure. Looking back, I realize that we were both so immature. I never regretted it. A few years after that, he left me for another woman, and then he ended up in jail. Thank goodness we didn't have that baby.


I'm not ashamed. I am happy with my decision. I was 25. Married mother of 2. I had had an m/c 2 years earlier which had made me really sad. My husband and I had hit a rough spot financially. I should have been on BC but it would have costed gas money to get it and we didn't have it. … read more >


My idea of a fairytale then is much different from the fairytale life I dream of now... … read more >


I am happily married to the man of my dreams. We had had the staying child-free discussion before and we were in accord. We have been very safe and never had unprotected sex. Two and a half years of being married, we found out I was pregnant. … read more >


It all happened so fast. I've only known the father a little over a month, so I must have gotten pregnant one of the first times we had sex. … read more >


It's time. I was 24 and my sister had just given birth to her beautiful daughter. I had been having sex with a guy, he said his name was Blue, and I believe that probably the day that Jenny gave birth I conceived with him. … read more >


I had an abortion a few months ago, at 36. I'd only been seeing the father for a few months when I got pregnant. … read more >


I was exactly halfway through graduate school. I wanted to finish, and continue a career in my field. Even though I had an IUD, I discovered I was pregnant. … read more >


I was a 22 year-old college senior. I had been on the pill since I was 17 and I was pretty used to it. The guy that I was seeing and I broke up in November and in December I went home for winter break. I got my period after Thanksgiving so I was waiting for it again late December/beginning of January but when it never came I suspected something was up. … read more >


I was in my 30s years old at the time. I had always wanted a baby - eventually - but due to pursuing my education, becoming financially stable, and finding the right partner, the time hadn't previously been right. After separating from my husband at the time, I started seeing someone new. Just three months into our relationship, we found ourselves unintentionally pregnant. I wasn't sure yet where our relationship would head, nor was he. He wasn't sure if he wanted children - ever. He offered to support whatever decision I made, but I knew two things clearly: (1) I wanted to have a baby who was wanted by both of its parents, and (2) more than "wanting a baby" (at any cost), I wanted to have a partner and a stable relationship. I didn't want him to feel like he had to be with me because we were pregnant. I didn't want to be with someone unless they were with me just because they wanted to be. In that sense, it was a fairly easy decision for both of us that we didn't want to have a baby together at that time. The abortion itself was still difficult - not physically, but knowing that we were at a fork in the road and had a difficult choice. But it was the right choice and now 2 years later we are still together and pregnant by choice.


This Saturday marks four weeks since I broke off a five year relationship with my boyfriend, who I had hoped to spend the rest of my life with, and asked him to move out. I am in more emotional pain than I could ever imagine, but it has prompted me to finally share my abortion stories, yes, stories. … read more >


2010: I was 16 years old and my boyfriend and I were in an on again off again relationship for the past year. We had sex without a condom and I missed my period. … read more >


I was 26. We had been together a few short months when my birth control pills failed. I woke up one morning, vomiting, thinking I had the flu. I felt fine the next 2 days, but on the following morning, a Monday, the feeling returned. I took a test to "ease" my mind. Positive. I took another just to make sure. Positive. … read more >


1999- I was 23, still a virgin, and had just gotten into the top art school in the country. Shortly into my first year, I met a man and that became my first, serious relationship. We got to the point where he wanted to go without condoms, and he had heard of men being able to give themselves shots in northern Europe, that would kill their sperm count. So, he got hold of the drug from some of his body builder friends and started taking the shots (I watched him do the daily doses). Well, months after the medicine was supposed to take effect, I ended up getting pregnant. There was no way I could handle having a child and still get through art school, so I decided to end my pregnancy. It was the right decision, and I never found myself in that situation again.


I had been happily married for almost 10 years with 2 wonderful children when I found out I was pregnant. Turmoil to make this choice! When I truly explored my deepest feelings, separating the fantasy from reality, I realized I didn't want more children. I love working and I adore spending time with my children, and felt there was no way to do both and keep my sanity while juggling another child. Parenting is a monumental responsibility that should be taken very seriously, for the children's sake. It was so hard to make that decision while under the hormonal state of pregnancy. Although I felt deep sadness about it, I have no doubt it was the right decision. In many ways, it was the more difficult choice. It made me realize that every situation is different, and women have the wisdom to do what is right for them at that point in time. Legally, I don't believe men should have any say whatsoever on the matter.


I am a 29 year old mother to a beautiful 7 year old girl. She has truly made my life a joy since the day she was born. I could never regret a thing about her existence and have always thought she made me better than I was before having her. … read more >


Our son was two and we were ready to add on to our family. I became pregnant after our first try and we were very excited. I was a little nervous about my “advanced age” as I was 36 going on 37, but otherwise I felt good. … read more >


I was 23 and in the worst days of my life. I was confused about what i wanted from life and i was living in a place where those who surrounded me had a great influence on me. My social life was at full blossom and I was living life young wild and free. … read more >


My boyfriend and me have a 4 year old daughter, and just recently had our 5 month old baby girl. We also have full custody of his child from a previous marriage. I just recently quit breastfeeding and knew I would be fertile again. We were very careful and figuring out who was going to get fixed. We decided on him and the procrastinating begun. … read more >


I had been married for 3 years and was beginning my final year of university. After removing my nuva ring I waited and waited for my period. We took a test just to prove that it was nothing, that second line was so faded and unclear we told our selves that we were OK. Then the fatigue started, with the sore breasts and the nausea... After another test nearly a week later we got a positive result. … read more >


I had just been accepted into a University after a hard year with my father and step mother and moving out suddenly to get away from them. I was 19 years old living with my boyfriend of 2 almost 3 years when I found out that I was pregnant. … read more >


I'm a freshman in college, 18 years old and had no idea what I'd gotten myself into. It was late fall and as football season winded down I met a nice guy. The night we met ended in our first time having sex and our relationship continued for a couple of months on that basis. … read more >


I was 17 years old, and had been with my boyfriend for 5 years. We were young and dumb, and I never thought I would actually get pregnant. I was very wrong. … read more >


The condom broke. I felt it and I knew. The next week, I went to the clinic at college and did a stick pregnancy test. It came back positive. I was 20 and not ready to be pregnant, but the condom had broken. … read more >


I was 31 years old and happily married to a supportive husband. We were trying to conceive, and after 9 long months, I was finally pregnant. We were both very excited and looking forward to a new addition to the family. … read more >


It was my junior year in high school and I was 17 years old,A and B honor roll student and,I had been with my boyfriend for about 5 years that year. The day before Valentines day, year of 2015, I had found out I was pregnant,the first person I told was him, he was thrilled, I on the other hand was not. … read more >


I'm an only child. I'm pretty sure my mom didn't want me. Even through this hard truth, she still remains the love of my life. She described my conception as a 'planned accident'. My dad wanted a litter and my mom wanted none. … read more >


Everything happened more a year ago. I was dating a guy everything was going well it wasn't until we moved in together that the emotional and physical abuse started. I have a beautiful and healthy almost 5 year old from a previous relationship. I regret putting her through all of the horrible things she went through. … read more >


I'd been on the pill for 20 years and wanted to stop just to see what my body and moods would feel without the steady stream of hormones. I considered getting my tubes tied, but that seemed like a lot of surgery for not that many years of fertility left. … read more >


It really pisses me off that I feel the need to label myself here as anonymous, but due to living at my conservative Christian parent's house (even at the age of 30), I will have to continue hiding this. I am dying to tell my story, share my story, talk to others, connect. Today is Tuesday and last Saturday, I had a surgical abortion. It wasn't an easy decision, but I know wholeheartedly it was the right one. … read more >


I was 21 and a student. It was the first time I had ever had unprotected sex; I was usually so careful and I didn't think once would be a problem. … read more >


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